Pearls Of Wisdom

Be True To Yourself

Spoken By Supreme Master Ching Hai At Raising Center, Cambodia

July 19, 1996 (Originally In English)

True Love Begins With Yourself

Now I have to tell you that true love begins with yourself, and that's the only truth that I can tell you. I am not talking about always trying to please other people. If you please other people with an ulcer in your stomach, is that good? And swallowing the anger within yourself, is that good? You are the Buddha as well. Why do you have to pay such a price when it's not necessary? When it's truly, truly necessary and the other person would die without you, then do it. Then maybe you'll consider whether he is more important than you. You don't run around and take care of people's karma; you have enough of your own. So whether it's marriage or arrangement, relationship or business, make sure you get the best out of it; and that's the way to save mankind. Because if you are not happy in your marriage, you always try to please your partner, let him have the better, one day you will break down or you'll explode; and you'll end up in divorce anyhow. By that time it is even too late. Okay, better late than never.

If you really come to an unbearable and irreconcilable situation, then think about it -- whether you should continue, or start a new life. Anything is changeable, anything is possible to be rearranged, because that's how we learn. If you make mistakes, it's all right. Admit it and change it. Don't continue in that mistake and sacrifice. For what? For example, if your marriage is not happy; your partner always takes advantage of you; and you are the only one always feeling bitter and abused, beaten up or thing like that; you continue like that, for what? Maybe you think that you might get a worse one later on, but you never know. You can try it. (Master and audience laugh.) If it's worse, then you know. (Master and audience laugh.)

What I mean is, actually in any situation, you must try to take care of yourself, so that you get the best; but not taking advantage of other people, or trying to walk over people's dead bodies in order to arrive at your desired destination. It's not like that. It's just that you have to be true to yourself in any circumstances. The other people must be true to themselves, too. If they are not or they try to pretend or try to act hypocritically, it is their problem. Then you will know at least where you stand. Oh, this person can not mix with me. I had better find another arrangement, or wait until he changes, becomes true to himself. Then we might talk again, something like that.

Because We Are Practicing The Truth

Toward business partner, anything like that, you have to always to be true to yourself, because we are practicing the Truth. If you are not true to yourself right now, when will you be true to yourself? When will you go to heaven? There, we don't need to do anything anymore. We've finished. Not kaput, but we've finished our job. (Master and audience laugh.) There is nothing else to do. So whatever you want to do, just do it. If it's correct, you'll know. Intentionally like that, you just have to be true to yourself and your feelings. That's why I have never hesitated to scold you even though I know it hurts you and hurts me. If you are false, if you are phoney, if you are trying to be hypocritical, and you try to force me to accept this kind of personality of yours, I refuse. I have always refused. I refused and I will always refuse until you show your true Self, and be at ease with yourself.

Being at ease with yourself doesn't mean you always allow your bad habits to come to the front and disturb yourself and other people's lives. Being true to yourself means you have to live the noblest qualities of a human being, of a future Buddha, and of a living Buddha. I don't mean that you have to allow your bad habits to come and disturb everyone and yourself, saying that is true to yourself. That's not true, that's false. That's accumulated imitation or illusion that you have carried with you life after life, and you want to keep it. So I scold that part. I don't scold you, the Buddha. I scold that part away so that the Buddha can reveal Himself that you are free. Not because I hate you or that I don't like you, that I scold you. You must know very clearly between the true and the false, between the Buddha and the one that gets scolded. That's not you! It's the bad habits that you attach to yourself. It's like that dust in your eye that has to be removed so that your vision becomes clear and truthful again.

That's why I have to always act true to myself and to you, so that you know me and you know yourself. You know which part of yourself to keep and which part to discard. If I am not true to myself and am afraid to reveal myself in every different situation, then you will never even know me.

Reveal Yourself, The Truest Feeling In Your Heart

You'll always think I'm very sweet, I'm tolerant, I'm forgiving, I am easy going. I am not. I am not only easy going, I am also not easy going. I am not only patient, I am also impatient. I am not only forgiving, I am also very strict. I am not only tolerant, I am also very disciplined. I am not only understanding and forgiving toward you, I'm also very demanding that you be true to yourselves, be disciplined, be noble, be a Buddha anytime. Not only in retreat, but you have to train yourselves, so that at home, on the road, reacting with other people, you always have to remember to reveal yourselves, the truest feeling in your heart. (Audience applauds.)

In whatever situation, most of the time you try to force me to accept you. But it's not the you that you try to force me to accept, it's the false mask that you carry on your face, around your soul, and try to make me accept that. Ah! It's your problem if you want to accept it. I don't. I want to show you my true Self and your true Self. That's my work. If it takes scolding or hurting your ego, let it be! I have to do it. That's what you came for. If you came here expecting me to praise you everyday and say that you're sweet, you're good, you're perfect... Ah, you are perfect, but not your habits. (Master and audience laugh.) Anyhow, when I say you are perfect it's also true, but you don't know that perfect person yet. I have to wash away all the covering, so that you know that perfect person. When cleaning, it hurts; because it's so thick. If you take a bath everyday, then it's easy. But if three, four days, a week or two weeks take a bath, then scrape it. See how you feel. It hurts, huh? Yeah! It takes many baths to clean. If we clean ourselves everyday, even sometimes we take a quick bath, it is also clean. But if after two weeks and we take a bath, it takes a Ganges River!

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