The Benevolence Of The Moon

On a certain feast, perhaps a birthday feast, people had eaten too many cakes, and drunk too much champagne, so they started talking nonsense. Two persons were chatting. A rather idiotic lady said, "My view is that the sun is the most beautiful and beneficial, because it gives us light and warmth." A gentleman rebutted her, "No. No! It is my opinion that the moon is the most beautiful and beneficial." The lady asked him to explain. The gentleman said, "You see the moon illuminates for us in the nighttime when we need the light most! However, the stupid sun keeps following us in the daytime, when we virtually do not need its light!" (Master and everybody laugh.)

I'm Afraid Their Heads Don't Fit Me, Your Majesty!

King Henry VIII of England once sent his chancellor, Sir Thomas More, to deliver a letter of wrath to the King of France. Sir Thomas More said to the King, "Your Majesty, I am terribly frightened to deliver this kind of letter. The King of France will surely behead me!" King Henry VIII told him, "Never mind! Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid. If that ignoramus, the stupid King of France, dares to cut off your head, I will behead all the Frenchmen in London for you." However, Sir Thomas More shook his head and said with a sigh, "I am most grateful to your Majesty, but I am afraid their heads do not fit me!" What he meant was, none of these heads would fit his neck, and they could not replace his lost head. He was so cute! The English people are always highly humorous, understand? They seldom speak straight to the point. Instead, they will go around in circles, tiring circles.

An Excellent Place To Live

There was a person named Peter, who was always ill, therefore, he was keen on looking for better places where he could migrate or move to.

He once heard about a very good city, so he went there to investigate. He met a certain person there, and they started chatting. Peter asked him, "Excuse me sir, are you a native here?" The man answered, "Yes, I am." Peter asked further, "Do you think the geomancy here is very good? Is this a good place?" The man said, "Yes, I think so. When I first came here, I didn't have a single strand of hair, and I could not speak at all. You see, now I have grown so tall, grown so much hair, and I can speak so well ! Definitely, I will not think of leaving the city, because where else could I go? I do not eat much now, but you can see that I am in sound condition!" Peter said delightedly, "Oh! This is wonderful! This is really great! I must come here to enjoy the good weather. By the way, sir, will you please tell me when you firsr came to this place?" The man said, "Well, I have been here since I was born!"

Hermann Hesse and The Little Birds

A German writer, Hermann Hesse, wrote a book entitled "The Story of a River," in which he included many stories about the spiritual practice of Siddhartha. Hermann said, "The Yogic spiritual practitioners eat very little, which cannot even feed a small bird." It means they eat very little food. Someone who heard this statement said, "Of course! How can the small bird be fed when the Yogi has eaten the food?" (Master and everybody laugh.)

Lobsters, Fresh And Alive

When a man was strolling with his dog, they passed by a shop selling lobsters. He could not afford to buy one, because lobsters are expensive, understand? Lobsters are expensive in Europe. The man was tempted by the lobsters, but he had not enough money to buy any, so he wracked his brain over it. He asked the shop owner, "Are your lobsters fresh and alive? The shop owner said, "Of course, they are!" The man asked again, "How can you prove it?" The shop owner said, "Well, simply put your dog's tail in the claw of the lobster, and you will find out." So, immediately, the man put the tail of his dog in the claw of the lobster. Sure enough, the lobster pinched its claw, and the dog dashed off with the lobster in tow. The lobster shop owner exclaimed, "Hey! Call back your dog immediately! Call your dog to come back at once!" With a cunning smile, the man said, "Why don't you call your lobster to come back?" (Master and everybody laugh.)